A Reminder…

My wedding…

My wedding is an opportunity, not a punishment.

My wedding is about sharing the love between FH* and me.

Sharing expands the heart, not contracts it.

Learning to give requires an open hand, not a clenched fist.

My wedding will be perfect.

My wedding will have things go wrong and people act weird.

My wedding costs enough.

My wedding is big enough.

My wedding is beautiful enough.

My wedding has enough room for everyone.

Because my wedding is a reflection of myself, being happy with myself means being happy with my wedding.

My wedding is not mine alone. It belongs to all of us, including those I did not invite, and may not even know.

My wedding is unique.

My wedding is not a delicate and beautiful snowflake. It is every other wedding- that’s why there’s a word for it.

My wedding is not a contest.

My wedding is not a blog entry.

My wedding is not a photograph (although our photographer does, indeed, rock).

My wedding is not a DIY garland.

My wedding is not my guest list.

My wedding is not my ONE LAST CHANCE.

My wedding is not a John Hughes** prom.

My wedding is not my love for FH*.

My wedding is not my marriage.

My wedding does not have to please you.

My wedding will probably not please you.

My wedding may not please me.

At the end of the day, I will still be married to my True Love. It will be witnessed. It will be legal. It will be real.

My wedding will be the sum total of what I dwell upon, what I meditate upon, the mouth I choose to feed.

I choose joy. I choose joy. I choose joy.

*FH= Future Husband

**John Hughes- beloved late director of every 80s movie starring Molly Ringwald, with whom I over-identified as a black adolescent growing up in the shadow of the projects.


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The Bluest i

Writer Michelle R. Smith's Personal Blog

Conditionally Accepted

a space for scholars on the margins of academia

Aware of Awareness


Eric Anthony Grollman, Ph.D.

Researcher, Educator, Activist

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